Dispatch from a middle school dance and a free Kindle/Nook book
Posted on | March 3, 2010 | 2 Comments
Recently, my husband and I were recruited to chaperone a dance at the local middle school. These dances are sponsored by the Student Council and one of our sons is a member, so there was no way we could get out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I like kids. But chaperoning several hundred kids on a Friday night with loud music and no comfortable chairs couldn’t compare to curling up at home with a Taco Supreme pizza and an hour of The Ghost Whisperer.
Deciding to make the best of it, I figured I’d do some research for the young adult novel I’m writing. I watched, I listened (as best I could over the music) and I put on my pre-teen/teen secret decoder ring.
Secret #1: Trying to fit in, while appearing unique, is crucial to kids. Crucial and nearly impossible to do. And yet, every generation attempts the impossible through their choices in clothes, shoes, hairstyles and of course music preferences. Every generation has their version of The Breakfast Club. There are athletes and princesses, brainiacs and underdogs. What was interesting to me, besides the fact that all the girls, no matter their dress code, hairstyle or popularity ranking, knew every word to the Miley Cyrus songs, was the fact that all the kids wanted to be part of the dance. There were two obvious loners, one girl, one boy, who didn’t hang out with anyone or each other, and when they approached a group or a potential dance partner, were shunned. Why did those kids come to the dance? Certainly not to have their feelings crushed.
Secret #2: Human beings, no matter their age, want to be loved, accepted, desired. After the dance, I thought more about what I’d observed and at first patted myself on the back for making it through those awful, awkward teen years with only a few battle scars. Then it hit me like a hundred girls singing Party in the U.S.A.—even as old as I am and with all the experiences I’ve had, I’m not so different from my younger counterparts. While I pride myself on being self-assured and wise, I often find myself second guessing what I say, what I do, and what I’m wearing. The pressure’s really on when I give a lecture at the local college or meet with a book club to discuss one of my novels. I spend hours figuring out what to wear—casual or dressy? Flats or heels?—and then spend extra time on my makeup and hair. I up the charm, the self-deprecating humor, and all the while, pray like crazy that they like me.
So the secrets I learned at the dance weren’t actual secrets. We all suffer from internal misgivings while trying to be part of a group and seeking love and acceptance. Even the characters in my novels struggle with the same issues. Julia, in Operation Sheba, is a great analytical thinker but doesn’t trust her emotions and therefore has trouble trusting others as well. Zara, in I’d Rather Be In Paris, has no trouble going head-to-head with a psychotic terrorist, but put her in a business meeting and she struggles not to stammer or stutter in front of her boss. Brigit, in Proof of Life, understands people and what motivates them from the inside out, but she only has one friend and she’s completely estranged from her family.
I’m curious…are you like me and so many others, whether young or old? Do you ever belt out Party in the U.S.A. while praying for approval inside? Do you fix your hair three different ways and try on six pairs of pants before you feel confident enough to walk into a group of strangers? Do you ever stammer in front of your boss?
Misty Evans always wears her secret decoder ring in public and can be overheard singing Miley Cyrus songs in the shower. The first book in her Super Agent Series, Operation Sheba, won a 2008 CataNetwork Reviewers’ Choice Award, a 2009 CAPA Nomination from The Romance Studio, and is a finalist in the 2010 New England Readers’ Choice Bean Pot Contest for Best Romantic Suspense. To download a free copy of Operation Sheba for your Kindle, click here. For a free copy for your Nook, click here. The free promotion runs through March 14th. Enjoy!
Tags: acceptance by peers > characters with insecurities > dance > free Kindle book > free Nook book > Miley Cyrus songs
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From our Authors…
March 3rd, 2010 @ 7:52 pm
Oh, what a painful reminder of those years! And it never DOES seem to get any easier; we just get better at faking it.
Although, heck, there’s still the fantasy that “people who are ten years older than me probably have it all figured out by now.” At least that’s what I’m clinging to…
Laurie, figuring if that’s NOT true I can always extend the fantasy another ten years!
March 5th, 2010 @ 9:40 am
Hi Laurie! You’re so right…we get better at faking it. At least we’re all faking it together.
I share the same fantasy. Ten years from now, I’ll have it all figured out and won’t give a darn what anyone thinks. Uh, huh. Yep, I’m certain that will happen. (NOT)
Thanks for stopping by. I hope to take another of your classes this year at Writer U!